this isn't how it was supposed to be
I'm feeling a lot of things right now, but the emotion that keeps rising to the surface is shock. I think it's because I prepared so much and so well for what I thought I'd be feeling right now that to not be feeling any of those things I prepared for is just...surreal. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. I've had horrible periods my entire life. My mom always said they'd get better after I had kids. She was wrong. If anything, they have gotten worse in the past ten years or so (my youngest child is 15). I spend 2-3 days a month literally doubled over in pain. Sometimes I'm bleeding so heavily I can't leave the house. I had an ablation. Didn't work. My uterine lining grew back with a vengeance, and it brought friends. Fibroids. I didn't have them prior to the ablation. I'm somewhat convinced some of my lower back pain and bladder pressure is due to the fibroids, but not sure. Two doctors have told me the next step in dealing