Phoebe's Poly Dating Adventures

I've been trying to come up with something witty...an alternative meaning for OKCupid. I mean, it's already a pretty dumb name. Is it like, "OK, Cupid, I'm giving up on you and taking matters into my own hands"? Bonus points to anyone who manages to make a proper joke about this since I've failed miserably. I used to use this site a lot in my late thirties/early forties when I was going through my divorce. I was dating my husband at the time, but didn't really see a future for us, so I was scoping out other options. And my husband and I were open back then, so he didn't care (nor does he care now whom I talk to or fuck.) Now I'm going through looking at these guys, and I'm like wow, they look old.  Then I remember that I am old now too. And they are essentially within ten years of my age. Sigh. I have a birthday next month. Really feeling 46 bearing down on me. I can still claim mid-forties, right? I don't have to do late forties till 48, I

Well, I got a brand new LELO vibrator and posted a video of myself using it on onlyfans if that tells you anything. Any prospects I had in my previous posts have dried up, so to speak--except for the last guy I met. I have seen him twice now, but we haven't done anything but kiss. He's a great kisser, by the way. I feel like he's sort of a captive audience because he just moved here and doesn't know anyone else (to my knowledge). He wants to spend more time with me but family, work, trips out of state to see dying relatives, periods, etc. have kept me from that elusive third date where we finally knock the boots. I haven't been active on the dating sites in the past few weeks. I feel like this current candidate should work out, but the big looming question of whether or not the sex is good is still...well, looming. Obviously. I believe I will get to find out on Wednesday for those of you keeping score at home. I also have a therapy appointment in the middle of the d

So, I haven't updated in a while because I've been writing a book. Not because stuff hasn't happened, though I have spent considerably less time on the dating/fetish sites in the past couple of weeks. In addition, I've learned a family member is in poor health (likely cancer) and we may be making a trip out of state to visit soon. In other words, I've been preoccupied with life stuff. That is one of the hardest things about poly. You have to fit it in around everything else, and it often ends up lower on the priority list. It sucks because essentially my poly relationships are a form of self-care for me, but, as usual, it gets relegated to the bottom when other people need me (which seems to be always, even if they're characters in a book LOL). I did meet someone new last week! Very promising. I may not get to see him again until I get back from my out-of-state trip, but I feel like this could be the type of relationship I'm looking for, if--and it's a b

I remember once upon a time, if I went more than a few days without sex, I'd feel like I was about to climb the walls.  Suffice it to say, those days are long over. I think my husband and I are on the once a month plan, or we were, until he told me last month that my weight and diet made it unlikely that he would want to be intimate in the future. And then he asked me why I wasn't fucking someone else. God knows I am trying over here! LOL  That guy I met like a week and a half ago has pretty much ghosted, I guess? I don't know what happened, and I'm feeling kind of whatever about it. We chatted a couple of times via text/email and I was supposed to take a photo for him and then didn't, and he's probably mad.  Then I started talking to a new guy who seems promising. He's moving here from the midwest for a job, which is exactly what I did 13 years ago this month. He just arrived yesterday and he doesn't know anyone here, so I really think we'll end up