BJs and Butthurt Guys

An update and a vent, because that's basically what this blog is for: a nice self-indulgent vent session.

Had my period this week, so playtime was not going to happen (not with a new partner, anyway). Not only did the one guy I was talking to from Fet that I'd met in March keep contacting me via the site to try to hook up instead of texting me, but when he finally DID text me, he basically blew off the period thing and said I should come give him a blowjob. 

So apparently my feelings and needs don't matter, but you need a blowjob?  I can be treated like that at home, thanks.

So I joined OKCupid last week, and that was nice for a while. Third or fourth guy I spoke with demanded my phone number after two messages. So nope to him. A couple of guys 80-100 miles away kept pushing to meet them even if I told them long distance stuff is not what I'm looking for. And then...then I thought I'd found something I could work with.

Guy is smart and cultured--a professor, and having worked in academia myself that automatically gave us a lot in common. We texted nonstop for days and were talking about meeting. We exchanged many, many photos.

And then today he tells me he has an STI. Sigh. While I'm really glad he told me, it would have been nice to know that up front, but I understand why he waited. But my husband and I have already been through this, and it's not something we feel comfortable with. We had a scare several, several years ago (when a partner of his failed to tell him until after they played, grrrr), but our tests came up negative. All these years of swinging and nonmonogamy and I've never gotten anything. I understand how common they are, that the risk will always be there, even if you play it safe. It's just another reason I get to know someone really well before we get naked, and a lot of men aren't patient enough to get to that point with me. That's fine. Those guys aren't for me, obviously.

But the problem here was that the guy didn't seem to understand it wasn't solely my decision. He kept explaining all the precautions he went through to ensure his partners didn't become infected. He guaranteed me no one he had played with in twenty years had gotten it, not even his ex wife. And even after I told him my husband wouldn't be on board with it, he continued to plead his case.

And now he's trying to make me feel guilty and like I'm letting my husband control me. 

Meanwhile, the other guy from fet, whom I was hoping to meet this week, hasn't answered my last message. 

Sometimes celibacy sounds really damn awesome, I tell you.