Introduction

I've been polyamorous for about ten years, give or take. Though with most things of a sexual nature or at least something so deeply ingrained in the psyche, I suspect it's been my whole life. It just took me a while to realize it.

For many years I maintained two relationships, a primary and a secondary. The primary I'm married to (still am), and the secondary was a man who lived about two hours away. We saw each other every other month or so for eight-ish years. And then he moved 3000 miles away (damn military ruining my life :/)

I took a long break from anything poly-ish in person (though I have continued to write about it!), but in the last six months or so I decided it would behoove me to find a partner, whether it was a friends with benefits type of deal or something more. And I figured starting with friends with benefits and working our way up to more was probably the easiest route anyway.

You wouldn't think that would be such a challenge.

I mean it's so simple:

Step 1: find someone you're reasonably attracted to and have a minimum number of things in common with. Ideally this person would be someone you can carry on a conversation with and are open to the idea of touching them and them touching you.

Step 2: meet in person and make sure the chemistry and interest are there.

Step 3: boink

Step 4: rinse and repeat

It's not like looking for a marriage partner, damn it!

And they don't have to live super close. Within an hour is good, you know, to increase the chances of getting to see each other from time to time.

I have learned, though, this is far easier said than done.

And the quest has left me with several rant-worthy moments--that I plan to detail here.