High Time for an Update

I realized that I haven't updated this blog in over a month. My bad.

I doubt anyone is losing sleep over not knowing the status of my seemingly never-ending poly dating saga, but just in case you are, then by golly, you're going to sleep well tonight, my friend!

I'm still attempting to find this elusive friend with benefits. I've lost track of how many men I've started talking to offsite (in this case, the initial messages were spawned on Fetlife, OKCupid or SwingLifeStyle). Most of the time, the conversations fizzle out for unidentifiable reasons. Maybe I didn't show them enough T&A pics, I don't fucking know.

Since we last convened, I did have a playdate with The Bartender. And let me just say that it went very well. I have a photo of the aftermath of my bed (spoiler alert: puddles) but you only get to see it if you follow me on Onlyfans LOL. 

I haven't seen him since then because schedules and kids and work and shit. 

I was supposed to meet someone who is a little closer to me and just retired from his job as, yes, you guessed it: a COP. Because I am apparently a fuckin' badge bunny and I can't seem to NOT find the cops. The Bartender used to be a cop, if I didn't make that clear before (I think I did?) 

Anyhoo... We were supposed to meet for coffee today and literally the moment I was finished shaving my legs, getting dressed and putting on makeup, he texted to say he couldn't make it. Fucker. This was after confirming the day before. Anyway, sigh. It's probably karma for me canceling a playdate with an old friend the day before, but I just couldn't justify taking 2-3 hours off work when I'm so busy right now. I could have justified a 45-minute get-to-know-you coffee date.

So, anyway, some of you may be wondering how things are going with my husband. Remember a certain ultimatum he gave me, oh, just about four months ago now? Rest assured that I have kept up my end of the bargain and then some. I was supposed to give up meat (again) and work on getting into shape--or else he was going to stop sleeping with me. He was also supposed to work on getting into shape (he's long insisted that our lack of sex life is partially due to my weight and partially due to his.)  I should mention during this period of time, he has actually gained weight, which I don't have a problem with at all because I love him unconditionally. But he wanted ME to lose weight, so it seems super hypocritical to me.

Perhaps it's 100% due to his weight because things haven't really changed. Other than the three nights we spent in the Finger Lakes celebrating our fifth anniversary, we are still barely having sex 1-2x a month. During those three nights, he was a stud; Vacation Dick was in the house, know what I mean? However, he has been on a staycation most of the rest of this month, and there has not been hardly any action to speak of. 

So...that's the latest. My poor onlyfans...I keep promising them action pics, but still haven't had any opportunities (other than the aforementioned squirt-ridden sheets pic LOL). Hopefully in another week or so something will pan out! *fingers crossed*

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