Join me in a deep, weary sigh, will you?

So...

Here we are. 2020 is drawing to a close and yours truly has been wearily plodding through, day by day.

Everything came to a crashing halt for me 11 days ago when my husband came down with something that seemed like it could be covid. First test was negative, and he started to get better, but then got worse, and we're still waiting on the second test. It's been a LONG eleven days.

Obviously I'm not meeting up with anyone while this is all going on. So that means that everyone I'm talking to has been put on hold for meeting. Most of them have been very understanding about it. I have remained healthy, by the way, as I sip my Emergen-C cocktail LOL.

One guy, we'll call him Brad... Well, he didn't seem to get it.

It started with a long message on SLS about how he lost my number. First off, this is always a red flag to me because he had the number in at least two places: on the site when I originally gave it to him and also in his phone because we did text for a couple days and then he went silent. If he deleted it from both places, it sounds to me like at some point he decided he didn't want to communicate further with me. Which is fine, I've got no problem with that.

I gave him my number again but explained that my husband is sick, and I'm not currently meeting anyone.

He sends a message through the site that says we'll "talk when I'm ready" but he immediately sends me a text as well.

Then he starts to spam me with texts. I answered one, I think, telling him that I was busy, things were stressful, and I wasn't meeting anyone probably till December.

This morning, he starts up again. He asks if he can send me a photo--and mentions he thought of it because I sent him photos when we were texting before (mine were PG/clothed photos btw).

He didn't wait for me to answer or consent to photos.

Next thing I know I'm getting dick pics. And not the impressive kind.

Then I get like three more texts about why am I not answering? All of this within an hour, during which time, I was on a walk with my dog and had left my phone at home.

So... blocked Brad on my phone. Blocked Brad on SLS. These days, I don't have the time or energy to explain to people why their behavior is unacceptable. 

I'm learning that in so many more areas in life. I truly believe that nonmonogamy has helped me understand what's worth my time and who is worth my efforts. And I've gotten a hell of a lot better about saying no and enforcing boundaries.

But it's still exhausting sometimes, you know?

I think at this point I will probably not meet people anyway because of covid. I didn't meet anyone between March-July, and given the current numbers, it's wise to stop. Too bad because I am talking to two guys I would very much like to meet, and they've been kind, patient and understanding through all of this. It just sucks to talk to them now for several weeks or even months and then not be able to meet.

2020 can kiss my ass. But I have a feeling 2021 is going to have a rough start as well.


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