National Sex Day

National Sex Day seems like a good day to update this blog. Finally.

I haven't been good about keeping it updated even though I have news to share! 

I read through the last entry, and I did meet up with that guy I'd originally met in 2008. I even ended up playing with him. It was just okay. The issue wasn't my size limitation, though I did have to ask him to slow down/go easy a few times--he was happy to oblige. It was more a lack of chemistry. He didn't even go down on me!

Look, I don't get oral from my husband (it has now been over a year), so that is a must from a FWB/poly partner. Not that I'm a pillow princess or one of those girls who even likes hours upon hours of oral, but, hey, more than once a year would be nice, right?

So I ended up meeting someone else shortly after the 2008 guy. This new friend--we shall call him J--is a silver fox. Ten years my senior. He's new to the lifestyle but has plenty of experience one-on-one. He's more into the swinging aspect, and I don't think he has any interest in poly, but it's been fun to hang out with him. I've been seeing him a couple times a month for a couple months now, and he checks a lot of boxes.

I'd still ultimately like to find more of a boyfriend/someone with whom I have an emotional connection. But for right now, it's nice to have sex more than 1-2x a month. So between J and my husband I'm at 3-4x a month or almost weekly. It's a big improvement.

I've been happier lately.

Sex makes me happy.

There, that's the simple fact of the matter. And I'm not ashamed of it.

I'm talking to someone else too, but we haven't met in person. He's much younger than me--15 years younger. He seems mature, and he's very good-looking. Maybe too good-looking. Sometimes I wonder why someone like him would be interested in me.

It's not really a low self-esteem thing, as a few friends suggested. It's more of a realist thing, I guess. But a lot of that is a holdover from the monogamist, patriarchal society I was raised in. That's the beauty of ethical nonmonogamy, right? You can have multiple partners, so there's no pressure to find the sole partner who is the end-all/be-all in terms of looks, background, compatibility, experience, connection, etc. Women have so much more agency and power in this configuration. No wonder I am such a fan of ENM!

And maybe, despite his young age, this guy is mature enough to see that beauty as well.

Time will tell!

I'll try to update more frequently. Maybe J and I will have a wild adventure I can blog about. He's definitely interested in clubs, parties, and other group-type experiences so maybe I will get a chance to do some of that stuff again...

Stay tuned.