spring is a good time for s*x

Or so I've heard. I mean, all the animals are doing it. 

A lot has happened in my little poly world since I last updated this blog. I had just met John #5. Actually I have met a lot more than 5 men named John in my 15+ years in the lifestyle, but literally EVERY SINGLE MAN I went out with in 2022 was named John. 

I'm actually still seeing him. We have only gotten a chance to play once due to my limited hosting opportunities and his total lack thereof (at least for now--that is expected to change in the not-so-distant future.) We meet up for coffee about once a week though. I have really come to think of him as a good friend. We text all the time. He is a beekeeper and yesterday gave me a jar of honey. I mean, what's not to like about that?

Yes, he has the veteran/cop/PTSD-type stuff going on that my husband has and most other men who share that background that I have met. But he's pretty well-adjusted.

The sex was...well, I know you guys want the juicy details, and it was way back in January, but I'll try to satisfy your curiosity. He's not the best kisser--that was a bit of an issue for me. But he did go down on me, which was much appreciated. And he has good stamina. The only other drawback is he's just above my size limitation, which meant there was a bit of pain a few times. If you really want to get into TMI, he bumped my cervix a little too hard and I bled a little afterwards, which was a bit shocking being 1+ year out from my hysterectomy and not having any bleeding whatsoever until then--not even directly after surgery when most women do bleed. The surgeon did tell me that retaining my cervix meant I could spot from time to time. Apparently it also means a huge c*ck can make me bleed.

Aren't you glad you asked? bwahahahaha!

So I also talked about my eating disorder being triggered in my last post. Well, that is...still happening? I don't know. I guess I've been dealing with it pretty well, but a few days or weeks a month it does seem to come back a bit, and I have to force myself to eat. I have lost some weight, enough to be noticeable, and people in my life--especially ones who know my history--have been VERY good about not mentioning it. It only reinforces my eating disorder, so it's very much appreciated when people do not comment on it.

However, today I uploaded some new pictures to fetlife, and an old FWB that I met pre-covid messaged me to say he noticed I'd lost weight and I looked great--though he also said I looked great before.

Sigh.

I think sometimes that people saying "you look great" is an alternative way of saying "you lost weight and I noticed." But he actually said the words too.

In any case...I am really, REALLY trying to focus on fitness and not weight. But not in an obsessive way, because I can get there too, trust me. I had to cut back on workouts in the last month because I was scrambling to finish a book, and I had to make an unexpected trip to the Homeland for a funeral. But now that's all done, and I have a huge trip coming up to Disney World plus my parents coming at the end of May for my son's graduation, so I feel like it could rear its ugly head again. I do feel like it's a bit better for me to obsess about calories burned than calories eaten. Still not great either way though.

Will I ever get to play with John again? Honestly, I don't know if it will happen in the next few months with everything going on. I would like to try again though. 

My husband had been way more interested in me after I lost some weight, but the past couple weeks have been crickets. I hope I don't see the eating part of my disorder ramp up because of that. 

Well, till next time...