Dick on Command

So it may have occurred to you that hey, Phoebe, you were once a happy slut with a whole stable of playmates. What happened to said playmates and why can't you boink them? Why search for new dick when you've already got plenty of historical dick?

T'is true there are a couple of local guys still around that I have played with in the past. And, yes, some are candidates for repeat performances. 

However...

I don't know how I can explain this.

I have a bit of a depression problem. Many would say it's a confidence problem, but that's not exactly it. Yes, in some ways, my husband's constant rejection has diminished my once vibrant sexual prowess, if that's the right word for it. But it's more that my libido wavers so much these days, it's just not reliable. I will be incredibly in the mood for like one random hour in the day and then not again for a week. My moods are very much a roller coaster, and my libido is one of the cars.

It's very hard to plan playdates in those circumstances.

That's why access is very important and why I'm so insistent on it being a local guy. Hanging out with someone in a non-sexual way will probably lead to sex at some point if we have chemistry, attraction and spend enough time together. But that's not really what any of my local historical dick is up for. They just want to meet up, boink, and go on with their lives. And scheduling is not the easiest thing with these friends either.

I don't want to make promises I can't keep. And I hate being flaky and fickle. I hate it!

But that's where I am right now. I think if I were to have a slew of great encounters, I might have enough positive reinforcement to test the waters with more regularity.

And speaking of waters...

My old boat captain friend, the one whom Cap in my Eastern Shore Swingers series is modeled after, hit me up on chat tonight. We talked about what we were looking for, and he really wants to see me. We agreed on lunch--to test the waters (pun intended). I was a lot younger and thinner when we dated before. Yes, I'm sure he has also aged. But I was trying to explain to him about my unpredictable sex drive and how what I really need is Dick on Command--as horrible as that sounds. 

Like I know this is a me problem. Not a them problem. 

But he says he's up to the task.

Eh, we'll see. I just know I've only agreed to lunch.