Phoebe's Poly Dating Adventures

 I seem to have a big dick magnet these days. Oh, wait. I'm an editor, and I should know better. It's not clear from that sentence if it's a BIG dick magnet or a BIG-DICK magnet. I mean the latter. I never met up with the other guy from my last post. We kept trying to connect, and it never seemed to work, so I just gave up. I'm really too busy right now anyway, and I'm actually supposed to be finishing a book right now that I have a very tight deadline for, so of course I'm doing this instead. Anyway. Finally get an email from a local guy. He's a little young for me (38) but... Well, I'll just show you: There's a big red flag there, and it's not the Italian thing (ha, had to say that because my husband is Italian.) It's the 11.5 dick, of course. I've been on these sites for 17 years. No, that's not a misprint--this fall it will literally be 17 years since I joined SLS and AFF. I've had hundreds of exchanges with men, many of whom

Well...I'm actually updating this in a timely manner. It's a miracle, right? There are some good things: The eclipse was amazing. Vacation Dick made several appearances on my travels. The event I hosted over the weekend went very well, and I got a ton of positive feedback.   It's good to focus on the positive, right?   But it's not all sunshine and roses. I got rear-ended (not a sexual euphemism this time) on my way to the event, and my new car sustained some damage. I'm okay--and that should be on the positive list above, but it's going to be a pain in the ass to deal with. Plus the $1000 deductible (because it was a hit and run, which adds to the uncontrollable rage I'm feeling about it) at a time that happens to coincide with a couple of very bad months in the publishing department is not great. Vacation Dick shriveled up when I got home, naturally. So, back to the drawing board with FWBs. Two potentials I was talking to in the past two months have ghoste

The title of this post is because I just lost another FWB to the West. Well, not JUST. It's actually been a few months now. But I'm just really coming to terms with maybe searching for a new one.  I'm sad because The Keeper was a great guy. I didn't play with him nearly enough, but we did form a wonderful friendship, and of course we'll stay friends. And he's from this area and has family here so he will probably visit from time to time. It's just he found a really great job in Arizona and already had friends there, so it was a no-brainer for him to move out there. So...back to the elusive search. I was traveling for a few weeks, and then I came down with an evil cold. I'm still not 100%, and I'm entering Week 3 of this sinus crap. And I'm about to travel again, but only for a week this time, and then I'm home for a long stretch before traveling again. It's an ideal time to look. The search seems so pointless though. The vast majority of

Hi. It's been a while. There hasn't been a lot to report. I'm still seeing Bee Keeper John, but we've had, I think, exactly two coffee dates and one play date since July. He also came by a local event and helped me pack up and load my stuff. He was hoping to go out afterwards, but my kids were at my house for the weekend, so I needed to get home. I like him, but it seems like we can never get together. Part of that is my fault--I travel so much. But I'm getting ready to have a pretty long stint at home after my next trip early in November. I don't travel again until late February. That's three full months--though it does include the holidays, which always makes things dicey. In other words, I'm low-key on the prowl. In some ways, I feel like Jerry Seinfeld on his show, where he always found the most trivial reason to dismiss a partner. But I am in no hurry, I'm not desperate, and my sex drive has been lacking anyway, so there's not exactly a big

    I live my real life in the book world. It means most people I communicate with on a daily basis are other authors, readers, book service vendors, and editing clients. It's a very gossipy community--probably because it's predominantly made up of women. I hate generalizing like that, but...in my experience, more women = more drama. Funnily enough, I was just talking about that with my FWB, whom I've actually taken to calling my boyfriend as of late. Huh. How did that happen, right? One of the biggest takeaways from the lifestyle has been that the more women who are involved in something, the more drama there is. Threesomes with two women seem to be much more prone to drama than ones with two men. No wonder I'm not a fan of FMF or FFM, besides the whole not being bi thing.  Not that I haven't tried. Lord, did I try. Back in the day. A big house party with lots of women in attendance? Hold on to your panties, folks. Watch your mouth, and watch your back. Anyway... I

Or so I've heard. I mean, all the animals are doing it.  A lot has happened in my little poly world since I last updated this blog. I had just met John #5. Actually I have met a lot more than 5 men named John in my 15+ years in the lifestyle, but literally EVERY SINGLE MAN I went out with in 2022 was named John.  I'm actually still seeing him. We have only gotten a chance to play once due to my limited hosting opportunities and his total lack thereof (at least for now--that is expected to change in the not-so-distant future.) We meet up for coffee about once a week though. I have really come to think of him as a good friend. We text all the time. He is a beekeeper and yesterday gave me a jar of honey. I mean, what's not to like about that? Yes, he has the veteran/cop/PTSD-type stuff going on that my husband has and most other men who share that background that I have met. But he's pretty well-adjusted. The sex was...well, I know you guys want the juicy details, and it w