Phoebe's Poly Dating Adventures

    I live my real life in the book world. It means most people I communicate with on a daily basis are other authors, readers, book service vendors, and editing clients. It's a very gossipy community--probably because it's predominantly made up of women. I hate generalizing like that, but...in my experience, more women = more drama. Funnily enough, I was just talking about that with my FWB, whom I've actually taken to calling my boyfriend as of late. Huh. How did that happen, right? One of the biggest takeaways from the lifestyle has been that the more women who are involved in something, the more drama there is. Threesomes with two women seem to be much more prone to drama than ones with two men. No wonder I'm not a fan of FMF or FFM, besides the whole not being bi thing.  Not that I haven't tried. Lord, did I try. Back in the day. A big house party with lots of women in attendance? Hold on to your panties, folks. Watch your mouth, and watch your back. Anyway... I...

Or so I've heard. I mean, all the animals are doing it.  A lot has happened in my little poly world since I last updated this blog. I had just met John #5. Actually I have met a lot more than 5 men named John in my 15+ years in the lifestyle, but literally EVERY SINGLE MAN I went out with in 2022 was named John.  I'm actually still seeing him. We have only gotten a chance to play once due to my limited hosting opportunities and his total lack thereof (at least for now--that is expected to change in the not-so-distant future.) We meet up for coffee about once a week though. I have really come to think of him as a good friend. We text all the time. He is a beekeeper and yesterday gave me a jar of honey. I mean, what's not to like about that? Yes, he has the veteran/cop/PTSD-type stuff going on that my husband has and most other men who share that background that I have met. But he's pretty well-adjusted. The sex was...well, I know you guys want the juicy details, and it w...

  This makes me laugh--hope you get a chuckle out of it too. *** It's not the best time of year for forging new relationships, but sometimes things fall in your lap and you have to see them through. That is what has happened with my newest potential FWB. First of all, every man I have met up with this year has been named John. This guy is the FIFTH dude named John that I have seen this year. (Two of the Johns I met up with are old friends, and three were new. One went by Jay but his given name is John.) Anyhow, because I obviously put out a lot of military/law enforcement vibes, this guy is retired from both. He's 8 years older than me and has spent several years celibate (he had a long recovery from an injury sustained on deployment). I'm a little leery of how that will translate into the bedroom, but he's  articulate, intelligent, cultured, well-traveled, well-educated and all the things that get this sapiosexual going. So...we shall see, right? I had mentioned a youn...

 Well, your favorite poly writer has had an interesting year so far, definitely the most active in recent memory.  I continued to see J, whom I mentioned on my last blog, through July, but then he had knee surgery, and I haven't seen him since. Bummer. That door isn't closed though--we are still in contact, so we'll see what happens. There wasn't any emotional connection between us, but the sex was fun, and he is really good with his hands/mouth. Considering my husband rarely uses either on me, it was a very nice change of pace. J also has a vast toy collection and enjoyed using those on me too.  I recently met up with a friend I've known for a long time, but we'd never explored a physical relationship. That story has a happy ending :) But, and you know there's a but, this person lives a considerable distance from me, so it can't be a regular thing like what I'm looking for. Sigh.  Which brings me to my most recent experience.  I'd been talking t...

National Sex Day seems like a good day to update this blog. Finally. I haven't been good about keeping it updated even though I have news to share!  I read through the last entry, and I did meet up with that guy I'd originally met in 2008. I even ended up playing with him. It was just okay. The issue wasn't my size limitation, though I did have to ask him to slow down/go easy a few times--he was happy to oblige. It was more a lack of chemistry. He didn't even go down on me! Look, I don't get oral from my husband (it has now been over a year), so that is a must from a FWB/poly partner. Not that I'm a pillow princess or one of those girls who even likes hours upon hours of oral, but, hey, more than once a year would be nice, right? So I ended up meeting someone else shortly after the 2008 guy. This new friend--we shall call him J--is a silver fox. Ten years my senior. He's new to the lifestyle but has plenty of experience one-on-one. He's more into the swi...

It's been a year since I updated this blog. I'm not sure why... The last time I wrote, I had just had my hysterectomy canceled at the very last minute, the one I had been planning and preparing for years. I confessed in that post how I was very worried about how the surgery would impact me sexually, and I wasn't sure at that time if I would reschedule it.  I'm pleased to say I had the surgery in November, and after a lot of soul-searching, I decided I could minimize my chances for sexual issues by retaining my cervix. So I did. And I couldn't be happier with the results. Not only did I have a very easy recovery, but sex feels exactly the same as before. And I never have to plan sex around my period again! Plus NO MORE PAIN every month. I used to even get cramps after orgasms if it was near or during my period. None of that nonsense anymore. Even my back pain is significantly improved. And I'm not taking thousands of milligrams of ibuprofen every month either. Al...

I'm feeling a lot of things right now, but the emotion that keeps rising to the surface is shock. I think it's because I prepared so much and so well for what I thought I'd be feeling right now that to not be feeling any of those things I prepared for is just...surreal. That's the only word I can think of to describe it. I've had horrible periods my entire life. My mom always said they'd get better after I had kids. She was wrong. If anything, they have gotten worse in the past ten years or so (my youngest child is 15). I spend 2-3 days a month literally doubled over in pain. Sometimes I'm bleeding so heavily I can't leave the house.  I had an ablation. Didn't work. My uterine lining grew back with a vengeance, and it brought friends. Fibroids. I didn't have them prior to the ablation. I'm somewhat convinced some of my lower back pain and bladder pressure is due to the fibroids, but not sure. Two doctors have told me the next step in dealing ...