Phoebe's Poly Dating Adventures

The title of this post is because I just lost another FWB to the West. Well, not JUST. It's actually been a few months now. But I'm just really coming to terms with maybe searching for a new one.  I'm sad because The Keeper was a great guy. I didn't play with him nearly enough, but we did form a wonderful friendship, and of course we'll stay friends. And he's from this area and has family here so he will probably visit from time to time. It's just he found a really great job in Arizona and already had friends there, so it was a no-brainer for him to move out there. So...back to the elusive search. I was traveling for a few weeks, and then I came down with an evil cold. I'm still not 100%, and I'm entering Week 3 of this sinus crap. And I'm about to travel again, but only for a week this time, and then I'm home for a long stretch before traveling again. It's an ideal time to look. The search seems so pointless though. The vast majority of

Hi. It's been a while. There hasn't been a lot to report. I'm still seeing Bee Keeper John, but we've had, I think, exactly two coffee dates and one play date since July. He also came by a local event and helped me pack up and load my stuff. He was hoping to go out afterwards, but my kids were at my house for the weekend, so I needed to get home. I like him, but it seems like we can never get together. Part of that is my fault--I travel so much. But I'm getting ready to have a pretty long stint at home after my next trip early in November. I don't travel again until late February. That's three full months--though it does include the holidays, which always makes things dicey. In other words, I'm low-key on the prowl. In some ways, I feel like Jerry Seinfeld on his show, where he always found the most trivial reason to dismiss a partner. But I am in no hurry, I'm not desperate, and my sex drive has been lacking anyway, so there's not exactly a big

    I live my real life in the book world. It means most people I communicate with on a daily basis are other authors, readers, book service vendors, and editing clients. It's a very gossipy community--probably because it's predominantly made up of women. I hate generalizing like that, but...in my experience, more women = more drama. Funnily enough, I was just talking about that with my FWB, whom I've actually taken to calling my boyfriend as of late. Huh. How did that happen, right? One of the biggest takeaways from the lifestyle has been that the more women who are involved in something, the more drama there is. Threesomes with two women seem to be much more prone to drama than ones with two men. No wonder I'm not a fan of FMF or FFM, besides the whole not being bi thing.  Not that I haven't tried. Lord, did I try. Back in the day. A big house party with lots of women in attendance? Hold on to your panties, folks. Watch your mouth, and watch your back. Anyway... I

Or so I've heard. I mean, all the animals are doing it.  A lot has happened in my little poly world since I last updated this blog. I had just met John #5. Actually I have met a lot more than 5 men named John in my 15+ years in the lifestyle, but literally EVERY SINGLE MAN I went out with in 2022 was named John.  I'm actually still seeing him. We have only gotten a chance to play once due to my limited hosting opportunities and his total lack thereof (at least for now--that is expected to change in the not-so-distant future.) We meet up for coffee about once a week though. I have really come to think of him as a good friend. We text all the time. He is a beekeeper and yesterday gave me a jar of honey. I mean, what's not to like about that? Yes, he has the veteran/cop/PTSD-type stuff going on that my husband has and most other men who share that background that I have met. But he's pretty well-adjusted. The sex was...well, I know you guys want the juicy details, and it w

  This makes me laugh--hope you get a chuckle out of it too. *** It's not the best time of year for forging new relationships, but sometimes things fall in your lap and you have to see them through. That is what has happened with my newest potential FWB. First of all, every man I have met up with this year has been named John. This guy is the FIFTH dude named John that I have seen this year. (Two of the Johns I met up with are old friends, and three were new. One went by Jay but his given name is John.) Anyhow, because I obviously put out a lot of military/law enforcement vibes, this guy is retired from both. He's 8 years older than me and has spent several years celibate (he had a long recovery from an injury sustained on deployment). I'm a little leery of how that will translate into the bedroom, but he's  articulate, intelligent, cultured, well-traveled, well-educated and all the things that get this sapiosexual going. So...we shall see, right? I had mentioned a youn

 Well, your favorite poly writer has had an interesting year so far, definitely the most active in recent memory.  I continued to see J, whom I mentioned on my last blog, through July, but then he had knee surgery, and I haven't seen him since. Bummer. That door isn't closed though--we are still in contact, so we'll see what happens. There wasn't any emotional connection between us, but the sex was fun, and he is really good with his hands/mouth. Considering my husband rarely uses either on me, it was a very nice change of pace. J also has a vast toy collection and enjoyed using those on me too.  I recently met up with a friend I've known for a long time, but we'd never explored a physical relationship. That story has a happy ending :) But, and you know there's a but, this person lives a considerable distance from me, so it can't be a regular thing like what I'm looking for. Sigh.  Which brings me to my most recent experience.  I'd been talking t